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26 Things About Me
K — Killed someone? Do you really think I’d say if I had? That having been said, no, I’ve never killed anyone. I hope you believe me.
L — Last time I cried. I think it's important to cry. It reduces anxiety, activates the parasympathetic nervous system, and improves the immune system. When I was really young, I had plenty of family members tell me that "boys don't cry," which is quite possibly the most harmful thing one can say to a boy. If you do that, don't. Don't ever.
As for me, the last time I cried was about a month ago. It was amazing and cathartic. I also happily admit that I cried at the beginning of Up. I'm not a monster.
M — Middle name. Francis. I would include it in my pseudonym, but it didn't test well with audiences. Or it didn't test well with Adrean, and I trust her judgment. When I started writing as an amateur, my pseudonym was Jonathan Francis. I missed my last name, and jonathanfrancis.com was already taken by someone who hasn't done anything with the website. I think it turned out well; if you Google my name, the first two pages are jam-packed full of entries all referencing me.
Pseudonyms are all about marketing in the end.
N — Number of states visited. I had to pull out a map of the U.S. to work this one out. Let's see: Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Kentucky, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York...maybe Ohio? I'm not gonna count it. Twenty states in total. That's two-fifths of the country, or 40% of the states. I'm impressed.
Why didn't we do countries, though? The world is so much wider than the United States! My mom's told me that I visited Canada when I was very little. I can't be sure, so I won't count it. I have visited Colombia, Venezuela, Mexico, the Bahamas, Costa Rica, France, Switzerland, Germany, Liechtenstein, Austria, Spain, and Morocco. I was within a mountain crossing of Italy, but I never crossed the border. That's thirteen countries, including the U.S.
O — One wish. To continue to develop a healthy lifestyle that'll make my transition into middle age as delightful as possible. I know, I'm only 32, but it's important to be healthy now so that things aren't awful in my 50s and 60s. I'm consistently happy about being told I look about ten years younger than I am. I wanna keep the compliments coming as much as I can.
Oh, yeah. And there's physical health. A pretty face isn't everything.
P — Pen name. Of course. It's Jack Burgos. Granted, Burgos is also my last name and Jack is my nickname, so there's not much I'm hiding. I picked my pseudonym so that it was short and easy to pronounce. Some people aren't sure how to pronounce Burgos, though, so it's "burr"—like those annoying little fruits that stick to your socks or shoes with sharp bristles that hurt when they prick you—and "gōs," which sounds a lot like "ghost" without the "t." The "s" is hard.
Now if only Chuck Palahniuk would take some time to help us figure out how to pronounce his last name, that would be great.