I should blog more. That's what I keep telling myself, but I've been either very busy or very distracted. Either way, I've allowed far too much time to pass in between posts, and that's upsetting. What better time to get started again than Pride Month? After all, this was supposed to be a big month. The second book in the Stormborn series, The Knave and the Fool, was going to be released for sure. I had a plan. But that plan went to shit.
My depression has made a severe comeback this month. Partly, it has to do with what's happening in my country, where the persecution of Hispanics has become a favorite pastime of the American government. Well, more than partly. I hate learning that people I used to like are actually xenophobes and nationalists who are more than happy to watch children traumatized and gathered up in concentration camps as a deterrent against immigration. I hate learning how many people I used to like voted for the monster who wears a human-like face and lives in the White House.
When the world is shit, it's hard for me to focus on fictional stories. As much as I want to sit down and write, I can't. All I can think about is that other people need my help, and it makes me want to put more hours into my day job. There's less time for writing when I do this, but it's hard for me to sit with a story and get it ready for publication.
All of this is to say that The Knave and the Fool is done, but it needs to be edited. I have to sit with it. I just want the fires burning all over the world to quiet down for a little bit. Just long enough for me to get some fiction work done. Maybe that'll never happen. Maybe I just have to work through the horror and the shame that I feel at what my country has become. I don't know.
I wish a lot of things right now, but I know that none of them are coming true anytime soon, and I definitely want this book to be out by October at the latest. Honestly, I want this book out by my birthday, which is coming up in July. I want to see it in print. Meanwhile, thousands of Hispanic children just want to hug their parents.